I don't know what am I feeling. I don't like this feeling. I don't know how to explain this feeling, it's so suffocating and it's killing me. Should I just get away from everyone, will that be better? No jealousy, no nothing. Life might just turn better, or maybe even worse. I don't know. I miss you Felyn. The only one who I can really rant to and talk about every single thing and who actually cared. But I guess I'm just never good enough and I don't deserve anyone.

Guili's birthday

Happy birthday darling girl! :)

December got better, just a little better than November. But I'm still feeling like shit. Just got back my iPhone 4, and everything is still in there, which made my night even worse. Celebrated Guili's birthday with the rest. First time putting in so much effort, because I felt like shit on my birthdays and I guess it feels great to see someone putting in effort to celebrate your birthday. I will feel happy even if it was just a simple meal. Years and years I felt bad. But thank god for my parents. Although I don't show it but I really felt happy that they were there. Anyway, guess she is really blessed to have all her friends asking her out and stuffs on her birthday. :) So jealous. Just wondering, will people actually do that when it comes to mine?

I just want you to stay the same, not change just like everyone else did...